Allies in Disguise:
Using Spouse Power to Make the Sale

By: Biff Matthews, President, Cardware International

I want to make my case for involving your spouse to make your next sale. 
When you’re  “relationship selling” to large accounts, there will inevitably be
numerous, different opportunities for meetings;  many will involve dinner or
another social event.  One thing I learned early in my career is that if it’s dinner,
it helps your cause to involve your prospective client’s spouse.   

Spouses will invariably comment on various aspects of The Business, and if the
salespersons’ spouse is at all knowledgeable about your client’s work, the resultant
conversation can be both revealing and interesting.  Spouses are non-threatening,
because they're not in the sales process.  As a result, they can listen and ask
questions the salesperson cannot.  Spouses of prospective clients also divulge
information or opinions that the client may not, giving you valuable insights.

A third reason for spousal involvement is simple courtesy: it shows social grace,
(a rare commodity to be sure),  professionalism, and indication that you value
their time and views.   

And, it plays both ways.  This is really a no-brainer.  The prospective client and
spouse both feel good, which helps build the relationship.  I have found it extremely
helpful in acquiring new customers and maintaining their loyalty. 

I’ve found too, that a spouse may or may not want to be involved in business
topics.  That is not always a negative, and often means that spouses are free to
do something else together, whether it’s a separate conversation, or a different
activity.  Think shopping, the universal trade show activity that’s equally appropriate
early in the sales process and with clients of many years longstanding. 

When any after-work event is involved, I have found that a thank-you note,
sent to the prospect’s spouse or family, lets me introduce myself and express
my awareness that the meeting took my prospect away from his/her family,
and that I appreciate that. 

Speaking of trade shows,  I’ll readily acknowledge that I’ve acquired clients
during these events solely on the basis of the involvement of my spouse. 
My late wife and a lady were talking about husband’s difficulties due to stress
levels.  She literally told her husband to work with us – he had not addressed
the problem causing the stress and it was a business problem that was spilling
over onto the home front.  We had a solution to the problem and once she
knew we could help, she insisted we be brought on board.  They’re still a
great client today – and good friends, too. 

Casual conversations initiated by spouses have often gained us access,
particularly during industry events,  to prospects I would not otherwise have
had access to, and at a very high level. One reason is spouses do not normally
carry a lot of pretense, so guards are down and common ground can develop
quickly.  You’re still in a professional atmosphere, but everyone is more relaxed. 
And a relaxed prospect is surely more open to suggestion. 

Involving spouses can help you make a sale and build the relationship.
Socializing provides a chance to establish personal relationships and discuss
proposals in an informal way. Also, couples are more likely to be invited,
and to have their invitations accepted.  There’s also the element of time: 
a prospect attending an event with a spouse will always feel less pressured
by time, with no cause to end the evening before you’d like.

I’d also like to suggest that if you influence meeting planning for your company
that you consider this:  events with spouses have a tendency to be far saner and
more balanced, than those without.  And far less likely to cause negative reactions
if the event includes an overnite stay, or goes into the late evening hours.

Biff Matthews is President of Thirteen Inc, the parent company of
CardWare International.  He is one of 12 founding members of the ETA,
serving on its board, advisory board and committees.  (740) 522-2150

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